Well the night bus to Bangkok was a real treat as always. Once there, we were able to successfully navigate the massive Bangkok northern bus terminal well enough to purchace tickets for our short (3 hour) jaunt to Kanchanaburi. The town is small and quaint. As Lisa put it, it is welcoming to tourists, but not catering to them. When we first got in, we walked the main drag of the town and took the first guest house we came to. It was great. Clean (poop-free), a hot shower, a fan...even a tv! And it had a very nice foliage-heavy courtyard that all the rooms opened to by way of a glass Japanese-style sliding door.
We decided to go check out a few recommended wats in the area and wake up first thing in the morning and head to the waterfall that is considered the main attraction in the area. After examining the map and trying to determine its scale, we decided to rent a bicycle to get to our destination. When we headed out to rent it, we came to a scooter rental place first, and accepted the challenge. I (meta) am the driver in these situations, and my main concern was acclimating myself to left side of the road driving. Also, they gave us an empty gas tank, so the first goal was to get to the petrol station on the big traffic road. Nervous about navigating, left-side driving and the possibility of running out of gas before reaching the station, I recognized that we were going the wrong way, and promptly turning around straight into a sandy patch. We toppled right over and I'm sad to say my clean, fall-free scooter record is no more. We were both ok, save a skinned knee or two and we climbed back on. I attempted to start the thing back up and it wouldn't start. I tried a few times and started getting nervous that I had broken it and wondering how many Baht they were going to charge me for a damaged scooter. I child walked up and motioned for me to step aside. He hopped on and started it up in one try. Relieved, we smiled and thanked him, although he didn't seem to care at all about our gratitude and shrugged it off like he does it all the time. With Lisa playing the role of navigator, we headed off into the countryside to our first wat of the north.
Wat Tham Khao Pun is unique because it is underground in a cave. We payed an entry fee and climbed down a series of narrow slippery steps into the dim musty space. It was impressive. An enormous reclining Buddha met us in the first opening. We took turns lighting incense and kneeling as we had been taught at the previous wat. I really enjoyed being out away from the tourists, and even out away from town. We were the only visitors to the wat at the time so we were free to explore the narrow passage ways in silence except for the sounds of dripping cave water and the occasional flapping of bat wings. It was really cool. Just being deep inside a cave is pretty cool, but the contrast of all the gold statues against the roughness of the caves felt like finding a secret treasure.
Before we went out to the cave, Lisa was reading about it in our tourist literature. She casually mentioned that sometime in the past, and Englishman was murdered at that wat by a drug addicted monk. Neither of us thought much about the tale. As we emerged from the cave's exit, a man and a very small boy stood waiting at the top. The man began speaking to us in broken English and we soon discovered that he was speaking of the murdered Englishman. Furthermore, for a price of 10 Baht (about 33 cents) he offered for the child to lead us into the woods to show us the location of the murder. The answer in this scenario is always "yes", so we gave the child a coin and, barefoot, he motioned us to follow. As we headed away, the man called out to us, "The boy only speaks Thai!". Lisa and I were smitten with our tiny, overly-serious 4 or 5 year old tour guide as well as giggling about the absurdity of our present situation. It was a perfect blend of morbid and adorable as we reached a ditch in the woods. The boy pointed down at it, and then looked back at us. We weren't sure how to react, or even what we were supposed to be looking at. Honestly, we were in it for the kid. (Who Meta snapped several sneaky photos of, true to form). We attempted to feign excitement and smiled and said thank you in Thai trying to extract some sort of sweet expression on the kid's face. But not this one. He was a working boy. And not only that, he was working the murder circuit. It was a hard job, and he was jaded. After only a moment of admiring the unmarked killing ditch, he led us back to the entrance examining and jingling the change in his small hands.
We decided to explore some more of the coutryside. Not very far down the road, we passed a sign for another wat called "Buddha'a footprint" and decided to stop in. It should also be noted here that we made a checklist upon arriving to Thailand and one item on the list is "visit 20 wats", so we rarely pass up the opportunity to add to our tally. The road we followed off the main road to get to it was a small path that led between farms. It was an absolutely gorgeous scene of lush green fields, Thai farmers out in the fields, a Brahman cow or two and everything surrounded by towering green hills and rocky bluffs. Also the sky was that really wonderful blue grey full of fluffy clouds like it might rain. The written description is necessary because we both immediately recognized the need to document, pulled out cameras and both of our camera batteries died at the same time.
We pulled into the back entrance of the wat to find a wat that was the complete opposite of the cave one. It was all open and outdoors and fairly sprawling. The grounds were emaculate and it was much like strolling through a garden. They even had a small zoo in the back with peacocks and deer! We both found the whole place to be quite wonderful.
We decided to go ahead and explore the countryside since we had paid for the gas. It was lovely. A couple highlights: We had to pull over a couple times to allow farmers to move their Brahman herds through the streets. Also at some point we saw a Thai couple on a scooter pulled over to the side of the road. Instead of the standard and universal courtesy nod that says "I see that you are on a scooter, and I am also on a scooter", the driver held out his meat on a stick and waved it in the air, smiling as if to say, "Look what I have! It's meat on a stick! We pulled over to have a snack! I love life, don't you?!" And we did. It was a much-needed shift from the tourist-polluted beaches in the south and the general chaos of travel.
We returned the scooter and availed ourselves to a gem in town called Tofu Bar where we gleefully feasted on tofu, pumpkin and a miracle food called fuk (pronunciation unclear) until we were stuffed. A light rain fell as we strolled through the main drag of the tourist section of town and waxed poetic of our love for it. Maybe it was the Chang talking, or the fuk...or maybe it was real.
Feeling open for anything we stopped into a fish massage establishment. We had seen them down south and figureed, why not. They way it works is you sit with your feet in a large aquarium full of Gara Ruffa fish. Then they eat you. And people just love it. Supposedly they rid you of dead skin, provide a massage, circulation, detox, etc etc. It was horrifying at first. Fish obsessively eating the dead flesh from your feet feels exactly as you'd imagine. Sick.
(Compounding the discomfort was the fact that I [Lisa] was using this opportunity as an exercise in recovering from childhood trauma, involving carp and resulting in an irrational fish fear that I've carried into adulthood. Now you know.)
So after a few initial moments of both of us freaking out, the fish biting massage was actually okay and even sort of fascinating. Meta did point out that this tank was one thing, but in nature the fish biting the feet would not be okay. I agreed.
After the whole fish thing we figured it was time for our first Thai massage. Thai massage, it turns out, is kind of intense. Kind of a massage-chiropractic-yoga hybrid. These women will contort your body in ways you never thought possible. A balance of pain and relaxation.
Also in Kanchanaburi we had the great honor of meeting the famed Captain Jack Sparrow impersonator. We had read about this guy in the local rag in bangkok. He dresses up in full Jack Sparrow regalia and lets tourists take pictures of him and sells them bookmarks or something. He really does bear a striking resemblance, especially with the costume. So we were hanging out at the bar, having a Chang and taking a load off, when Mr. Sparrow himself approaches. He was in plainclothes, so we didn't recongnize him at first. He introduced himself as Jack, and it all came together when he motioned to a huge poster on the wall featuring the man himself in all of his Depp inspired glory. Amazing. Jack went on to give us a shot of his whiskey-herb concoction that he brews himself. He produced a jar of the stuff brewing and I was beginning to wonder what was his affiliation with this bar. He made a few dirty jokes with accompanying hand motions (apparently the herbs make one horny). Meta and I were able to overlook this offense because we were still so starstruck. THE Jack Sparrow impersonator!
The next morning we picked up a couple of bananas at the fruit stand. As our tour book promised, we met bananas that don't taste like chalk! We've been mercilessly joking about that ridiculous phrase ever since we read it about a month ago, but you guys, the bananas here are pretty amazing. Sweet and dense and rich. Delicious.
We rode the long rickety bus to the national park featuring a seven step waterfall and wild monkeys swinging from the trees, with signs warning visitors to beware the fierce monkeys. It's a beautiful hike, up the mountain for about an hour. There are seven stopping points featuring scenic waterfalls. It also appears to be a top site for local Thai retreat, as it was jam-packed with people. Once at the top, we stripped down to our bathing suits and splashed around in the gushing water and it was incredible. (It should be noted that our discarded pile of clothing was instantly surrounded by flies and other insects, via Pigpen. After a solid week of sweaty travel, baby wipe baths in public restrooms, and no laundry, we were veritably disgusting.) SO THEN we began our mountain descent. Level 2 had a great pool and a rocky cove behind the waterfall, so you could climb up on the rocks and sit behind the wall of water. The problem was the fish. You see, there's actually no need to spend any amount of baht on flesh eating fish to remove your dead skin cells because at the Erawan National Park, these guys will do it for free. And they're bigger. And uglier. And there are so many of them. Cue childhood trauma relapse, I could not get into that waterfall. I felt like a fool, surrounded by tiny children who were not the least bit fazed by the killing machines nibbling their toes. I found a comfortable and safe rock to sit on and volunteered to take pictures of Meta swimming the fish infested waters.
(*Meta's account: Lisa wasn't the only one put off by the fish. I was terrified. The ones at the fish spa were about an inch long. These wild suckers were topping out and a foot/ foot and a half. They were swarming the edges of the pool, but the middle was fish-free. So I stood on a rock flipping out as I worked myself up to taking a big breath and hurling my body forward as far as it would go to get to the middle quickly. Once there I was safe...until I attempted the waterfall climb on the other side. They got me again and there was nothing I could do about it. But it was worth it. Once I was back out of the water in a waterfall cave it was like something out of a movie. The inside was dripping moss and fern covered stalactites. I sat on a rock inside the cave and watched monkeys and hundreds of Thai people frolic in paradise.)
We returned to town (after a short setback when our bus broke down) with about an hour to eat before catching a bus to Bangkok where we would get on the night bus to Lampang. There was quite a bit of confusion at the Bangkok bus station when the bus we had bought tickets for was apparently cancelled. This was conveyed by a man (later discerned he was the bus driver) putting a pile of money in Meta's hand and taking our bus tickets out of mine. What followed was an attempt at information sharing through a serious language barrier. Lots of pointing, mostly. We needed a new ticket to Bangkok and we had to leave immediately to catch our connecting bus. We weren't sure which buses went to the correct station. In the midst of this confusion, a small boy (bus driver's son?) reassured us over and over "It's okay. Bangkok! It's okay" accompanied with the okay hand gesture. His confidence and soothing tone really got us through this rough patch. We boarded a minibus going to what was probably our terminal in Bangkok.
The Bangkok terminal was bustling with a night market. Nothing looked familiar and we weren't even sure we were at the right place. We navigated the maze of wares, exhausted and confused. Every three carts or so were selling the exact same merchandise, same neon watches and lit up cell phones, so you can never really tell where you are.
On the night bus to Lampang we each took two sleeping pills. This is the recommended dosage but so far we'd been using one. The difference is drastic. I was out cold in ten minutes. When we were awoken in the middle of the night for a meal (which wasn't free on this measly six hour trip), I was slumped over in my seat with my head hanging in the aisle, drooling on the bus floor. We debused for this fifteen minute break and bumbled around the rest stop in a groggy stupor, occasionally running into things. Bought socks (the bus is so cold) and oreos. We stood waiting to get back on the bus, unable to form words, holding our socks and silently passing the oreo package back and forth. Soon we would wake up in Lampang and take the short bus ride to Hang Chat and to Caroline, where we would nap off the remaining drug effects. But in the meantime, we ate cookies and waited.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Day 4-5: Mai Kow Jai...over and over...
The final night in Hua Hin included a swim suit costume change and a walk on the beach and then a night market...with food on sticks! Lisa had the most exciting food that could manage to impale itself upon a stick. It was a squid. Squid on a stick for Lisa. We also shared BBQ bananas in coconut sauce and some other stuff on sticks. The night market was quite exciting and made for a fine send off from Hua Hin.
We made our way to the bus station around 9:30 for our 10:25 overnight bus to Phuket (where we planned to immediately catch a ferry to Kho Phi Phi). No one really spoke any English at all at the bus station and it was quite crowded and bustling with travelers. We asked several questions to the station attendants by way of charades, etc. about how we would know when it was time for our bus. They were clearly annoyed and not of very much help. We saw a few buses come in early with the name of our town so we got up and held up our tickets and they just shook their heads no and told us to sit down. Assuming our bus was late, we waited a little while until the next bus rolled in with "Phuket" on the side. Naturally this had to be our bus, so we gathered our bags and ran to get on. We walked the isles looking for our seats as the bus began to pull away. Before we found a spot to settle in, the bus attendant asked for our tickets. He looked at them and immediately told the driver to stop. We got kicked off the bus, again with no attempted explanation. We walked back to the station to ask again. The next hour or so we took turns subjecting ourselves to the wrath and humiliation that was the Hua Hin bus station staff. Every time, without even creative attempts at communication, all they said was "no" or "sit down" or the straight forward irritated head shake as they became increasingly disgusted with our presence. By now it was 11:30, and we had no idea what was going on and were very tired and frustrated. We tried to figure out how we could have missed it, because we began trying to get on every bus that came through an hour and a half ago. I risked my life and asked an attendant another time. When she told me to sit down, I asked again. She angrily slammed her finger down on my ticket and said "wrong company. go sit down." Now we had the information that there were multiple companies and we had to figure out a bus that corresponded to us. This, for us, was an elementary matching game of matching corresponding shapes of Thai letters, since we don't read the language. Minutes dragged on and no bus. We had barely slept at all the night before due to jet lag, and were now confused and exhausted in a bus station full of employees that hated us. Lisa started in on talk of Hua Hin hotels, and we decided that if 1:00 am rolled around, the bus probably wasn't coming. I walked to the window a final time, where the bus man shut it in my face and walked away. Appalled, I mastered my first Thai phrase in that moment which was "I do not understand" and planned to throw it at them again and again until we got somewhere. As I was getting up, a Thai couple approached us who saw our frustration as well as its source and, in very broken English, offered to help. It was now 12:30am. As we were trying to communicate with the new liaisons, a bus driver wearing a shirt with a logo that matched the shapes on our ticket walked up. Our bus was here. We vaguely found out that it had encountered accidents on the way and was running late. It was the happiest moment of our lives.
Once on the bus we experienced yet another in a line of surreal moments when the regular lighting inside was green. And not like, fun accent lighting for decor purposes, but like actual lighting. It was like the whole bus was in night vision. It was weird, and would have been under normal circumstances, but was especially so after being awake nearly 24 hours and undergoing the emotional roller coaster that was the bus station. Kind of like walking out of a nightmare into a nightmare.
Finally ready for sleep, we each took a sleeping pill because even if you're exhausted, sleeping on a bus is never easy. We were soundly snoozing in a sleep-aid induced slumber when the green lights reappeared accompanied by some loud Thai pop music. We were confused. Again. We didn't have very much time to exchange drugged, bus- haired, bleary-eyed looks before the bus pulled up to a large building and everyone began getting off. The driver told us 17 minutes.
If I had had the wherewith all at the time, I would have brought a camera into this place, because I'm pretty sure it was as odd as it seemed at the time. The ceilings were unnecessarily tall, like a huge warehouse. Inside was a small, convenience-store sized gathering of Thai treats available for sale. All were of unknown identity to us. There was also a cafeteria-style row of hot food. We gathered that this was an eating and resting break. After going to the bathroom on "squatties", we aimlessly bumped and stared at things. The driver pointed us to an equally expansive adjacent room containing round hefty marble tables with marble lazy susans built into the centers. All of our bus companions were silently and expressionlessly eating food and sharing the offerings upon the rotating centers. It took us a while to understand the workings, still until a woman motioned for us to sit down. We were each served a bowl of hot water and rice and we followed everyone else's lead and began loading the rice bowl with the contents of the middle platters. It was actually quite good and also comforting. After 17 minutes, the bus passengers silently and again, expressionlessly began filing onto the bus. It was the first time I felt like one in a herd of cattle on this trip (more times come later). It doesn't all sound horribly strange when its all laid out, so I do think a lot of it was that it was 3 am and the sleeping pills were still active, but...no...not all of it...it was still pretty weird. I wish I had photos, as I feel like that would tell the whole story. You know what they say with the picture and the thousand words...
We slept resonably well/ok/not that well and experienced the first of several early morning bus wake up calls. Around 5:45/6am as buses believe that passengers should be awake. Afterall, its morning. They achieve this by turning on the lights (in this case green ones) and cranking up the Thai pop hits over the bus speakers. Again, hazy and slightly surreal. As we've become more accustomed to the night buses, I've found that I've cultivated a real affinity for Thai pop, particularly as a blaring 6AM wake up call. Kavarna, get ready.
As we've continued traveling, we've gotten pretty nightbus savvy. We now know the ropes of the 3am hot-wate-rice dinner. Still, desolate rest stops in the middle of nowhere, Thailand are always just slightly unnerving. It may be because we're always in the fog of kroger brand sleep aid. It may be the high ceilings and sparse rows of baked goods. The otherworldliness of being immersed in a completely different language that we have no way of comprehending. Or the utter silence of the whole experience. Either way, Thai transit is really on to something. Where else can you get your transport, accomodation, and dinner all at once? Efficiency. I'm pleased to report also that since the nightmare of Hua Hin, all of our bus station interactions have gone very smoothly. We've picked some rudimentary language skills and most people around here are happily willing to meet us in the middle with charades.
We reached our destination of Phuket in order to hop onto yet another form of transport. Oh all the traveling in this Trip of Travels.
We made our way to the bus station around 9:30 for our 10:25 overnight bus to Phuket (where we planned to immediately catch a ferry to Kho Phi Phi). No one really spoke any English at all at the bus station and it was quite crowded and bustling with travelers. We asked several questions to the station attendants by way of charades, etc. about how we would know when it was time for our bus. They were clearly annoyed and not of very much help. We saw a few buses come in early with the name of our town so we got up and held up our tickets and they just shook their heads no and told us to sit down. Assuming our bus was late, we waited a little while until the next bus rolled in with "Phuket" on the side. Naturally this had to be our bus, so we gathered our bags and ran to get on. We walked the isles looking for our seats as the bus began to pull away. Before we found a spot to settle in, the bus attendant asked for our tickets. He looked at them and immediately told the driver to stop. We got kicked off the bus, again with no attempted explanation. We walked back to the station to ask again. The next hour or so we took turns subjecting ourselves to the wrath and humiliation that was the Hua Hin bus station staff. Every time, without even creative attempts at communication, all they said was "no" or "sit down" or the straight forward irritated head shake as they became increasingly disgusted with our presence. By now it was 11:30, and we had no idea what was going on and were very tired and frustrated. We tried to figure out how we could have missed it, because we began trying to get on every bus that came through an hour and a half ago. I risked my life and asked an attendant another time. When she told me to sit down, I asked again. She angrily slammed her finger down on my ticket and said "wrong company. go sit down." Now we had the information that there were multiple companies and we had to figure out a bus that corresponded to us. This, for us, was an elementary matching game of matching corresponding shapes of Thai letters, since we don't read the language. Minutes dragged on and no bus. We had barely slept at all the night before due to jet lag, and were now confused and exhausted in a bus station full of employees that hated us. Lisa started in on talk of Hua Hin hotels, and we decided that if 1:00 am rolled around, the bus probably wasn't coming. I walked to the window a final time, where the bus man shut it in my face and walked away. Appalled, I mastered my first Thai phrase in that moment which was "I do not understand" and planned to throw it at them again and again until we got somewhere. As I was getting up, a Thai couple approached us who saw our frustration as well as its source and, in very broken English, offered to help. It was now 12:30am. As we were trying to communicate with the new liaisons, a bus driver wearing a shirt with a logo that matched the shapes on our ticket walked up. Our bus was here. We vaguely found out that it had encountered accidents on the way and was running late. It was the happiest moment of our lives.
Once on the bus we experienced yet another in a line of surreal moments when the regular lighting inside was green. And not like, fun accent lighting for decor purposes, but like actual lighting. It was like the whole bus was in night vision. It was weird, and would have been under normal circumstances, but was especially so after being awake nearly 24 hours and undergoing the emotional roller coaster that was the bus station. Kind of like walking out of a nightmare into a nightmare.
Finally ready for sleep, we each took a sleeping pill because even if you're exhausted, sleeping on a bus is never easy. We were soundly snoozing in a sleep-aid induced slumber when the green lights reappeared accompanied by some loud Thai pop music. We were confused. Again. We didn't have very much time to exchange drugged, bus- haired, bleary-eyed looks before the bus pulled up to a large building and everyone began getting off. The driver told us 17 minutes.
If I had had the wherewith all at the time, I would have brought a camera into this place, because I'm pretty sure it was as odd as it seemed at the time. The ceilings were unnecessarily tall, like a huge warehouse. Inside was a small, convenience-store sized gathering of Thai treats available for sale. All were of unknown identity to us. There was also a cafeteria-style row of hot food. We gathered that this was an eating and resting break. After going to the bathroom on "squatties", we aimlessly bumped and stared at things. The driver pointed us to an equally expansive adjacent room containing round hefty marble tables with marble lazy susans built into the centers. All of our bus companions were silently and expressionlessly eating food and sharing the offerings upon the rotating centers. It took us a while to understand the workings, still until a woman motioned for us to sit down. We were each served a bowl of hot water and rice and we followed everyone else's lead and began loading the rice bowl with the contents of the middle platters. It was actually quite good and also comforting. After 17 minutes, the bus passengers silently and again, expressionlessly began filing onto the bus. It was the first time I felt like one in a herd of cattle on this trip (more times come later). It doesn't all sound horribly strange when its all laid out, so I do think a lot of it was that it was 3 am and the sleeping pills were still active, but...no...not all of it...it was still pretty weird. I wish I had photos, as I feel like that would tell the whole story. You know what they say with the picture and the thousand words...
We slept resonably well/ok/not that well and experienced the first of several early morning bus wake up calls. Around 5:45/6am as buses believe that passengers should be awake. Afterall, its morning. They achieve this by turning on the lights (in this case green ones) and cranking up the Thai pop hits over the bus speakers. Again, hazy and slightly surreal. As we've become more accustomed to the night buses, I've found that I've cultivated a real affinity for Thai pop, particularly as a blaring 6AM wake up call. Kavarna, get ready.
As we've continued traveling, we've gotten pretty nightbus savvy. We now know the ropes of the 3am hot-wate-rice dinner. Still, desolate rest stops in the middle of nowhere, Thailand are always just slightly unnerving. It may be because we're always in the fog of kroger brand sleep aid. It may be the high ceilings and sparse rows of baked goods. The otherworldliness of being immersed in a completely different language that we have no way of comprehending. Or the utter silence of the whole experience. Either way, Thai transit is really on to something. Where else can you get your transport, accomodation, and dinner all at once? Efficiency. I'm pleased to report also that since the nightmare of Hua Hin, all of our bus station interactions have gone very smoothly. We've picked some rudimentary language skills and most people around here are happily willing to meet us in the middle with charades.
We reached our destination of Phuket in order to hop onto yet another form of transport. Oh all the traveling in this Trip of Travels.
Day 5-7: You down with Kho Phi Phi?
We started heading back up north today (Sunday 5/15), after spending a few days wandering around the islands in the south. Admittedly the bulk of the past week has been spent in buses, taxis, and boats. Still, we spent some time in Kho Phi Phi, which may be familiar to you as the island from this Leonardo DiCaprio gem: http://youtu.be/MfKRrTBnQUs
Kho Phi Phi. It's surrealistically stunning, a spectacle of nature against the backdrop of a party paradise. The island is apparently the not-so-secret meeting place of hundreds of attractive white twenty-somethings from all around the world. And they came to play. So the tiny sacred island is a bustling tourist-driven marketplace by day and becomes a lit up dance party by night, blaring my favorite Ke$ha and Rhianna jams and featuring fire-dancing competitions and girls in bikinis. Meta and I opted to avoid the dude-bros with fresh "authentic" Thiland tribal tatoos and tan skinny scantily-clad girls who no reasonable person would want to stand near while in a bathing suit, purchased a couple beers at the 7-11 and found a nice rock on top of a hill to sit and watch the party from a safe distance. Then we passed out in our fan cooled bungalow (twelve dollars a night) at around 11 pm (of course). It was our first night of sleep since arriving in Thailand and we slept beautifully. We had running water for a cold shower. Our pink mosquito net matched the silky sheet that came with our floor mattress, and once we used a plastic bag to cover up what appeared to be some sort of animal's poop in the corner, it was really quite nice. We were awoken at about 4 in the morning when the party babies returned to our bungalow neighborhood. Fortunately, we were so exhausted that we more or less slept through the screaming, hysterical laughter, and of course drunk crying, which proved that the party was as great as it looked. We decided to check it out the second night.
We woke up (again) early, around six, to hike up to the featured Kho Phi Phi viewpoint, and were greeted by several disheveled party-goers finally heading home to sleep. "Good morning, ladies!" a shirtless Australian boy slurred as he passed "And good night." Perfect.
The hike to the viewpoint is actually thousands of steep stairs and then a winding uphill path to a mountaintop. We reached the top, found a cozy rock to sit on, and prepared to take in the incredible view of the two Phi Phi islands separated by an isthmus and framed by incredible craggy bluffs covered in greenery. Seriously, it was unbelievably breathtaking. Our reverie was delightfully broken by a trio of still-awake still-drunk Irish medical students who had made an impressive drunken ascent up the thousand stairs and promptly became our new best friends for the next few hours. Seriously, we fell in love with them. Absolutely starry eyed smitten. Clever drunk hilarity at it's finest. The magic cannot be properly put into words. Included among addressed topics: the finer points of beach furniture, what exactly is an isthmus, and amusing dialectical differences between Irish and American English (the words fanny, front-bum, and fag were all used liberally). The Irish boys convinced Binoi, the old native islander who lives on the mountain, to pose for pictures with us. He seemed reluctant at first but was swayed by their charm and in moments was making jokes in broken English and laughing uproariously. Beautiful. We eventually had to part, as Meta and I had a longtail boat tour to catch and they, some Zs. (Uhhh.) Anyway, we promised to find each other later on the beach, but it didn't happen. The ones that got away, really. Meta and I have talked at length about moving to Ireland to be with them. Borderline obsessive, maybe.
Right before our boat tour I broke my sunglasses which gave me the opportunity to buy a pair of the ubiquitous knock-off Ray-Bans that seem to be a trademark of South Thailand. Every tourist has a pair and I was pleased to join the ranks. And actually, I bought two pairs. And honestly? I might have a third before this trip is over.
Boat tour:
We boarded the traditional-style Thai longboat and headed out onto the turquoise seas. Our driver wasted no time plowing through the waves, which needless to say, left us all drenched, as one might be on a Six Flag log plume ride. First stop: Monkey Island. And yes, it is what it sounds like. We pulled up and got 10 minutes to crowd the beach and hang out with monkeys living there. They were obviously quite used to tourists and seemed to revel in the fact that they could control us all. Some liked to randomly chase unsuspecting tourists, seemingly out of sheer sadistic pleasure, which, to be honest, I (meta) was really glad they did They didn't chase us, but we got to watch. We also stared open-mouthed as we watched a monkey walk up to a tourist, take her water bottle away, turn it upside down, bite a hole in the bottom, and proceed to drink the water out of it. These guys really have it down.
Next, the boat took us to go swimming in the most gorgeous cove one could ever imagine. And to make the moment even more perfect, we did so in the company of a hundred or two party kids and to the sweet, sweet sounds of MC Hammer's "Can't Touch This".
The third boat stop allowed us to snorkel among beautiful tropical fish and coral, and Meta had the fishies eating discarded fruit out of her hand.
The final boat stop took us to Maya Bay, wich was talked up the most on the mainland do to the movie filming there. The printed ads for many boat tours showed actual photos of people on the boat with one person sporting a grossy over-sized Leo DiCaprio Photoshopped head. And really, why wouldn't they? When we pulled into the bay, we had to brave crashing waves and brutal rocks to access the private beach of Leonardo DiCaprio fame. This was accomplished by dumping us about 100 yards from the rocky cliffs and having us swim through rough waters to a make-shift "web", which we were then supposed to latch onto, pull ourselves up, and climb over and through. The crashing waves and rocks are real, and both Meta and I sustained minor injuries during this part of the tour. Badass. Of course the beach is beautiful (REALLY beautiful), and of course swarmed with above mentioned drunk college kids. They left us there to do whatever for about an hour then we all headed back to the opposite side of the bay with the masses to once again fight the angry waters and locate our respective boats. It was great to line up with a hundred other kids, jumping one by one off a rock into the violent waves. Meta accurately observed that we were like lemmings, all in the name of seeing the beach from the movie. After taking the treacherous swim back to our boat, waterlogged and exhausted, we were rewarded by our first and only WHISKY BUCKET. We'd heard tale of the watered down thai whisky-cola concoction, served in a large plastic bucket and is a favorite among the southern beach tourist scene. We'd even seen bikini girls drinking from buckets decorated with hello kitty. A real treat.
We spent some hours on party beach. Ate delicious pad thai, drank cheap beer, admired the fire show. It was lovely, but ultimately party beach just isn't our scene. Never found our Irish friends. Went back to quiet poop bungalow around 11pm, just the way we like it.
On our morning ferry ride back to Phuket we decided that it was high time we learned our 1-10 numbers in Thai. Having picked up a flyer in Kho Phi Phi titled "Thai Languages is Fun!", we made quick work muttering the sequence to ourselves and quizing one another. (*The flyer also includes useful phrases like "I am drowning" and "sexy girl"). After mastering 1-10 forward, backwards, and random order (we're faily smart), we made an extensive pros and cons list debating which of two other islands would be our next destination, having heard wonderful things about both Kho Tao and Kho Suamai. After spending almost an hour going back and forth, we realized that we already only have two weeks left of exploration before spending our final week in Bangkok. Armed with this newfound sense of time, we made the swift and unanimous decision to fuck the tourist islands and head north. We arrived in Phuket, booked a night bus to Kanchanaburi (a more rural northern town with a national park filled with waterfalls and monkeys), and spent the rest of the day in Phuket among the tanning whites and English advertisements. We saw the Big Buddha and our first temple. The Big Buddha is an uncomfortably enormous sculpture of the (mostly) the Buddha's head overlooking the entire city. Interestingly enough, this mega-Buddha, which is still under construction, was for the king's 80th birthday in 2007. There was already a very large golden Buddha on the mountain top, wich is the original "Big Buddha". But now that there is the overwhelmingly large Buddha dwarfing it, it would be silly to call the golden one "big". The wat (temple)associated with these large statues was really neat. Cats and monkeys ran around and we even met a poodle who wore a dress. Her owner was quite eager to show off her tricks. I have a video. Also, we played the gong after watchingt some real pros doing it. We, however, were less successful at getting any sound out of it, as it seems to be an aquired skill of rubbing the metal just so. It was our first wat visit (first of the goal of 20 on our Thailand checklist)and we were a little unclear on protocol as far as picture taking and insense burning. Fortunately a man (monk?) in attendance put us at ease and encouraged us to take photos and kneel to worship the Buddha.
Later, on the way back down the mountain, we made friends with our taxi driver and showed off our new counting skills. He was impressed. We had him drop us off at a beach in Phuket to spend one final day soaking in the sun and being lazy. To celebrate our last day in the south, I sought out beachy drinks served coconuts. A couple hours of that scene, and then back to the bus station to board another night bus to Bangkok. Oh the night buses *sigh*...
Kho Phi Phi. It's surrealistically stunning, a spectacle of nature against the backdrop of a party paradise. The island is apparently the not-so-secret meeting place of hundreds of attractive white twenty-somethings from all around the world. And they came to play. So the tiny sacred island is a bustling tourist-driven marketplace by day and becomes a lit up dance party by night, blaring my favorite Ke$ha and Rhianna jams and featuring fire-dancing competitions and girls in bikinis. Meta and I opted to avoid the dude-bros with fresh "authentic" Thiland tribal tatoos and tan skinny scantily-clad girls who no reasonable person would want to stand near while in a bathing suit, purchased a couple beers at the 7-11 and found a nice rock on top of a hill to sit and watch the party from a safe distance. Then we passed out in our fan cooled bungalow (twelve dollars a night) at around 11 pm (of course). It was our first night of sleep since arriving in Thailand and we slept beautifully. We had running water for a cold shower. Our pink mosquito net matched the silky sheet that came with our floor mattress, and once we used a plastic bag to cover up what appeared to be some sort of animal's poop in the corner, it was really quite nice. We were awoken at about 4 in the morning when the party babies returned to our bungalow neighborhood. Fortunately, we were so exhausted that we more or less slept through the screaming, hysterical laughter, and of course drunk crying, which proved that the party was as great as it looked. We decided to check it out the second night.
We woke up (again) early, around six, to hike up to the featured Kho Phi Phi viewpoint, and were greeted by several disheveled party-goers finally heading home to sleep. "Good morning, ladies!" a shirtless Australian boy slurred as he passed "And good night." Perfect.
The hike to the viewpoint is actually thousands of steep stairs and then a winding uphill path to a mountaintop. We reached the top, found a cozy rock to sit on, and prepared to take in the incredible view of the two Phi Phi islands separated by an isthmus and framed by incredible craggy bluffs covered in greenery. Seriously, it was unbelievably breathtaking. Our reverie was delightfully broken by a trio of still-awake still-drunk Irish medical students who had made an impressive drunken ascent up the thousand stairs and promptly became our new best friends for the next few hours. Seriously, we fell in love with them. Absolutely starry eyed smitten. Clever drunk hilarity at it's finest. The magic cannot be properly put into words. Included among addressed topics: the finer points of beach furniture, what exactly is an isthmus, and amusing dialectical differences between Irish and American English (the words fanny, front-bum, and fag were all used liberally). The Irish boys convinced Binoi, the old native islander who lives on the mountain, to pose for pictures with us. He seemed reluctant at first but was swayed by their charm and in moments was making jokes in broken English and laughing uproariously. Beautiful. We eventually had to part, as Meta and I had a longtail boat tour to catch and they, some Zs. (Uhhh.) Anyway, we promised to find each other later on the beach, but it didn't happen. The ones that got away, really. Meta and I have talked at length about moving to Ireland to be with them. Borderline obsessive, maybe.
Right before our boat tour I broke my sunglasses which gave me the opportunity to buy a pair of the ubiquitous knock-off Ray-Bans that seem to be a trademark of South Thailand. Every tourist has a pair and I was pleased to join the ranks. And actually, I bought two pairs. And honestly? I might have a third before this trip is over.
Boat tour:
We boarded the traditional-style Thai longboat and headed out onto the turquoise seas. Our driver wasted no time plowing through the waves, which needless to say, left us all drenched, as one might be on a Six Flag log plume ride. First stop: Monkey Island. And yes, it is what it sounds like. We pulled up and got 10 minutes to crowd the beach and hang out with monkeys living there. They were obviously quite used to tourists and seemed to revel in the fact that they could control us all. Some liked to randomly chase unsuspecting tourists, seemingly out of sheer sadistic pleasure, which, to be honest, I (meta) was really glad they did They didn't chase us, but we got to watch. We also stared open-mouthed as we watched a monkey walk up to a tourist, take her water bottle away, turn it upside down, bite a hole in the bottom, and proceed to drink the water out of it. These guys really have it down.
Next, the boat took us to go swimming in the most gorgeous cove one could ever imagine. And to make the moment even more perfect, we did so in the company of a hundred or two party kids and to the sweet, sweet sounds of MC Hammer's "Can't Touch This".
The third boat stop allowed us to snorkel among beautiful tropical fish and coral, and Meta had the fishies eating discarded fruit out of her hand.
The final boat stop took us to Maya Bay, wich was talked up the most on the mainland do to the movie filming there. The printed ads for many boat tours showed actual photos of people on the boat with one person sporting a grossy over-sized Leo DiCaprio Photoshopped head. And really, why wouldn't they? When we pulled into the bay, we had to brave crashing waves and brutal rocks to access the private beach of Leonardo DiCaprio fame. This was accomplished by dumping us about 100 yards from the rocky cliffs and having us swim through rough waters to a make-shift "web", which we were then supposed to latch onto, pull ourselves up, and climb over and through. The crashing waves and rocks are real, and both Meta and I sustained minor injuries during this part of the tour. Badass. Of course the beach is beautiful (REALLY beautiful), and of course swarmed with above mentioned drunk college kids. They left us there to do whatever for about an hour then we all headed back to the opposite side of the bay with the masses to once again fight the angry waters and locate our respective boats. It was great to line up with a hundred other kids, jumping one by one off a rock into the violent waves. Meta accurately observed that we were like lemmings, all in the name of seeing the beach from the movie. After taking the treacherous swim back to our boat, waterlogged and exhausted, we were rewarded by our first and only WHISKY BUCKET. We'd heard tale of the watered down thai whisky-cola concoction, served in a large plastic bucket and is a favorite among the southern beach tourist scene. We'd even seen bikini girls drinking from buckets decorated with hello kitty. A real treat.
We spent some hours on party beach. Ate delicious pad thai, drank cheap beer, admired the fire show. It was lovely, but ultimately party beach just isn't our scene. Never found our Irish friends. Went back to quiet poop bungalow around 11pm, just the way we like it.
On our morning ferry ride back to Phuket we decided that it was high time we learned our 1-10 numbers in Thai. Having picked up a flyer in Kho Phi Phi titled "Thai Languages is Fun!", we made quick work muttering the sequence to ourselves and quizing one another. (*The flyer also includes useful phrases like "I am drowning" and "sexy girl"). After mastering 1-10 forward, backwards, and random order (we're faily smart), we made an extensive pros and cons list debating which of two other islands would be our next destination, having heard wonderful things about both Kho Tao and Kho Suamai. After spending almost an hour going back and forth, we realized that we already only have two weeks left of exploration before spending our final week in Bangkok. Armed with this newfound sense of time, we made the swift and unanimous decision to fuck the tourist islands and head north. We arrived in Phuket, booked a night bus to Kanchanaburi (a more rural northern town with a national park filled with waterfalls and monkeys), and spent the rest of the day in Phuket among the tanning whites and English advertisements. We saw the Big Buddha and our first temple. The Big Buddha is an uncomfortably enormous sculpture of the (mostly) the Buddha's head overlooking the entire city. Interestingly enough, this mega-Buddha, which is still under construction, was for the king's 80th birthday in 2007. There was already a very large golden Buddha on the mountain top, wich is the original "Big Buddha". But now that there is the overwhelmingly large Buddha dwarfing it, it would be silly to call the golden one "big". The wat (temple)associated with these large statues was really neat. Cats and monkeys ran around and we even met a poodle who wore a dress. Her owner was quite eager to show off her tricks. I have a video. Also, we played the gong after watchingt some real pros doing it. We, however, were less successful at getting any sound out of it, as it seems to be an aquired skill of rubbing the metal just so. It was our first wat visit (first of the goal of 20 on our Thailand checklist)and we were a little unclear on protocol as far as picture taking and insense burning. Fortunately a man (monk?) in attendance put us at ease and encouraged us to take photos and kneel to worship the Buddha.
Later, on the way back down the mountain, we made friends with our taxi driver and showed off our new counting skills. He was impressed. We had him drop us off at a beach in Phuket to spend one final day soaking in the sun and being lazy. To celebrate our last day in the south, I sought out beachy drinks served coconuts. A couple hours of that scene, and then back to the bus station to board another night bus to Bangkok. Oh the night buses *sigh*...
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Days 1-4: Zombies on a Slide
Here we sit in Second Cup Coffee Shop, having just accidentally ordered some mystery pastery. How does this happpen? Well an older woman sat up from her table and pointed at her partially eaten treat on a plate and asked if we wanted it. Lisa and I , always up for free food and sleep deprived and delerious enough to get excited at used food, smiled and said "YES!" I mean...Who does that? Then she carried it away and I believe we are being made something in the back. It looked like bread...and it won't be free.
After 6,000 hours of riding on planes, we arrived in Thailand to meet Caroline. Neither of us really were able to sleep ion our first 14 hour plane ride but it was ok because we had access to Delta on Demand, a feature neither of us had ever seen, but made being trapped on the plane a real treat. Hundreds of movies and tv shows at our disposal. AMAZING! We each independently watched 3 episodes of The Real L Word, and individually cried at several movies including 127 Hours and The Blind Side. The 7 hour ride from Tokyo to Bankok was nearly empty so we wasted no time in stretching ourselves out accross two rows of 4 empty seats and passed out immediately. This turned out to be quite fortunate, as we haven't had a full night's sleep since.
Upon arriving in Bangkok and meeting up with Caroline around midnight we realized that the hotel we had booked was actually 3 hours away by bus, and there were no buses at that time. We made quick tiome however and made it to a hostel...with free breakfast. We really do love free food. The next day we hopped ion the bus and made our way south to the Marriott to take advantage of the reservation that I was able to secure at a rediculously low friends and family rate offered by my Marriott-employed friend. Caroline decided to come with us, so it turned into a fun-times-riff-raff-in-a-fancy-hotel party. There was a waterslide! Really. There was. And do you know what we did? Went on it. Over and over. It was a great way to spend a day when we were probably to jetlagged to do anything real anyway. The amenities were abundant. We also conducted a taste test of the 3 cheapest lagers available at the 7-11. And I (Meta) re-discovered seaweed chips, my new favorite snack. Not only are they salty and delicious, the back of the bag features a cartoon fat lady holding potato chips and crying while two thin ladies eating seaweed chips stand to the side just smiling away. That really sealed the deal for me. Clever and healthy.
Other highlights of our brief stay in Cha Am include our first legit Thai meal (barring fried fish flavored snacks in plastic bags). We even ate the tiny and very spicy peppers they bring on the side to heat the meal. Cha Am is this tiny beach town mostly comprised of resorts, americanized thai restaurants, and more tailor shops per capita than you'd think could possibly stay in business.
After watching the sun rise, taking advantage of the hotel gym (elliptical machines and Thai music videos), and a few more trips down the water slide, we were pushed out of the nest this morning when we parted ways with Caroline. She, of course, has been doing the talking and guiding so far. She's heading back to Bangkok to meet some friends today and Meta and I are exploring South Thailand for the next week or so. Our independance has not gone entirely smoothly. Trying to buy a bus ticket was an utter debacle. We don't speak the language (although we're trying) and every interaction is comic gold, or a sideshow of idiocy. I have become relatively proficient in my one Thai phrase, "Thank You". Meta hasn't gotten the hang of "thank you" yet, so at the end of all conversations she prompts me "Lisa, say thank you!" Between this and our ever-improving "Hello" skills, we miracurously managed to purchase ourselves tickets to Phuket (hopefully to use as an immediate jumping off point for our intended destination of Kho Phi Phi). Our bus leaves at 10 tonight, so we've had some unexpected time to explore Hui Han, which is basically a long metropolis main road littered with expat bars, thai massage, and motobikes. This coffee shop is an oasis of air-con (as the locals refer to it) and caffeiene. We also visited our first Thai shopping mall, an instense immersion in stimuli. Meta communicated through drawing that she needed to buy a sewing kit which was pretty neat. (The sewing kit is for the huge hole Meta ripped in the crotch of her pants this morning.)
Now we have five more hours to kill in Hui Han. We're going to hang out at the beach for awhile and later check out the local night market for fresh seafood. Then on to Phuket.
After 6,000 hours of riding on planes, we arrived in Thailand to meet Caroline. Neither of us really were able to sleep ion our first 14 hour plane ride but it was ok because we had access to Delta on Demand, a feature neither of us had ever seen, but made being trapped on the plane a real treat. Hundreds of movies and tv shows at our disposal. AMAZING! We each independently watched 3 episodes of The Real L Word, and individually cried at several movies including 127 Hours and The Blind Side. The 7 hour ride from Tokyo to Bankok was nearly empty so we wasted no time in stretching ourselves out accross two rows of 4 empty seats and passed out immediately. This turned out to be quite fortunate, as we haven't had a full night's sleep since.
Upon arriving in Bangkok and meeting up with Caroline around midnight we realized that the hotel we had booked was actually 3 hours away by bus, and there were no buses at that time. We made quick tiome however and made it to a hostel...with free breakfast. We really do love free food. The next day we hopped ion the bus and made our way south to the Marriott to take advantage of the reservation that I was able to secure at a rediculously low friends and family rate offered by my Marriott-employed friend. Caroline decided to come with us, so it turned into a fun-times-riff-raff-in-a-fancy-hotel party. There was a waterslide! Really. There was. And do you know what we did? Went on it. Over and over. It was a great way to spend a day when we were probably to jetlagged to do anything real anyway. The amenities were abundant. We also conducted a taste test of the 3 cheapest lagers available at the 7-11. And I (Meta) re-discovered seaweed chips, my new favorite snack. Not only are they salty and delicious, the back of the bag features a cartoon fat lady holding potato chips and crying while two thin ladies eating seaweed chips stand to the side just smiling away. That really sealed the deal for me. Clever and healthy.
Other highlights of our brief stay in Cha Am include our first legit Thai meal (barring fried fish flavored snacks in plastic bags). We even ate the tiny and very spicy peppers they bring on the side to heat the meal. Cha Am is this tiny beach town mostly comprised of resorts, americanized thai restaurants, and more tailor shops per capita than you'd think could possibly stay in business.
After watching the sun rise, taking advantage of the hotel gym (elliptical machines and Thai music videos), and a few more trips down the water slide, we were pushed out of the nest this morning when we parted ways with Caroline. She, of course, has been doing the talking and guiding so far. She's heading back to Bangkok to meet some friends today and Meta and I are exploring South Thailand for the next week or so. Our independance has not gone entirely smoothly. Trying to buy a bus ticket was an utter debacle. We don't speak the language (although we're trying) and every interaction is comic gold, or a sideshow of idiocy. I have become relatively proficient in my one Thai phrase, "Thank You". Meta hasn't gotten the hang of "thank you" yet, so at the end of all conversations she prompts me "Lisa, say thank you!" Between this and our ever-improving "Hello" skills, we miracurously managed to purchase ourselves tickets to Phuket (hopefully to use as an immediate jumping off point for our intended destination of Kho Phi Phi). Our bus leaves at 10 tonight, so we've had some unexpected time to explore Hui Han, which is basically a long metropolis main road littered with expat bars, thai massage, and motobikes. This coffee shop is an oasis of air-con (as the locals refer to it) and caffeiene. We also visited our first Thai shopping mall, an instense immersion in stimuli. Meta communicated through drawing that she needed to buy a sewing kit which was pretty neat. (The sewing kit is for the huge hole Meta ripped in the crotch of her pants this morning.)
Now we have five more hours to kill in Hui Han. We're going to hang out at the beach for awhile and later check out the local night market for fresh seafood. Then on to Phuket.
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