Well the night bus to Bangkok was a real treat as always. Once there, we were able to successfully navigate the massive Bangkok northern bus terminal well enough to purchace tickets for our short (3 hour) jaunt to Kanchanaburi. The town is small and quaint. As Lisa put it, it is welcoming to tourists, but not catering to them. When we first got in, we walked the main drag of the town and took the first guest house we came to. It was great. Clean (poop-free), a hot shower, a fan...even a tv! And it had a very nice foliage-heavy courtyard that all the rooms opened to by way of a glass Japanese-style sliding door.
We decided to go check out a few recommended wats in the area and wake up first thing in the morning and head to the waterfall that is considered the main attraction in the area. After examining the map and trying to determine its scale, we decided to rent a bicycle to get to our destination. When we headed out to rent it, we came to a scooter rental place first, and accepted the challenge. I (meta) am the driver in these situations, and my main concern was acclimating myself to left side of the road driving. Also, they gave us an empty gas tank, so the first goal was to get to the petrol station on the big traffic road. Nervous about navigating, left-side driving and the possibility of running out of gas before reaching the station, I recognized that we were going the wrong way, and promptly turning around straight into a sandy patch. We toppled right over and I'm sad to say my clean, fall-free scooter record is no more. We were both ok, save a skinned knee or two and we climbed back on. I attempted to start the thing back up and it wouldn't start. I tried a few times and started getting nervous that I had broken it and wondering how many Baht they were going to charge me for a damaged scooter. I child walked up and motioned for me to step aside. He hopped on and started it up in one try. Relieved, we smiled and thanked him, although he didn't seem to care at all about our gratitude and shrugged it off like he does it all the time. With Lisa playing the role of navigator, we headed off into the countryside to our first wat of the north.
Wat Tham Khao Pun is unique because it is underground in a cave. We payed an entry fee and climbed down a series of narrow slippery steps into the dim musty space. It was impressive. An enormous reclining Buddha met us in the first opening. We took turns lighting incense and kneeling as we had been taught at the previous wat. I really enjoyed being out away from the tourists, and even out away from town. We were the only visitors to the wat at the time so we were free to explore the narrow passage ways in silence except for the sounds of dripping cave water and the occasional flapping of bat wings. It was really cool. Just being deep inside a cave is pretty cool, but the contrast of all the gold statues against the roughness of the caves felt like finding a secret treasure.
Before we went out to the cave, Lisa was reading about it in our tourist literature. She casually mentioned that sometime in the past, and Englishman was murdered at that wat by a drug addicted monk. Neither of us thought much about the tale. As we emerged from the cave's exit, a man and a very small boy stood waiting at the top. The man began speaking to us in broken English and we soon discovered that he was speaking of the murdered Englishman. Furthermore, for a price of 10 Baht (about 33 cents) he offered for the child to lead us into the woods to show us the location of the murder. The answer in this scenario is always "yes", so we gave the child a coin and, barefoot, he motioned us to follow. As we headed away, the man called out to us, "The boy only speaks Thai!". Lisa and I were smitten with our tiny, overly-serious 4 or 5 year old tour guide as well as giggling about the absurdity of our present situation. It was a perfect blend of morbid and adorable as we reached a ditch in the woods. The boy pointed down at it, and then looked back at us. We weren't sure how to react, or even what we were supposed to be looking at. Honestly, we were in it for the kid. (Who Meta snapped several sneaky photos of, true to form). We attempted to feign excitement and smiled and said thank you in Thai trying to extract some sort of sweet expression on the kid's face. But not this one. He was a working boy. And not only that, he was working the murder circuit. It was a hard job, and he was jaded. After only a moment of admiring the unmarked killing ditch, he led us back to the entrance examining and jingling the change in his small hands.
We decided to explore some more of the coutryside. Not very far down the road, we passed a sign for another wat called "Buddha'a footprint" and decided to stop in. It should also be noted here that we made a checklist upon arriving to Thailand and one item on the list is "visit 20 wats", so we rarely pass up the opportunity to add to our tally. The road we followed off the main road to get to it was a small path that led between farms. It was an absolutely gorgeous scene of lush green fields, Thai farmers out in the fields, a Brahman cow or two and everything surrounded by towering green hills and rocky bluffs. Also the sky was that really wonderful blue grey full of fluffy clouds like it might rain. The written description is necessary because we both immediately recognized the need to document, pulled out cameras and both of our camera batteries died at the same time.
We pulled into the back entrance of the wat to find a wat that was the complete opposite of the cave one. It was all open and outdoors and fairly sprawling. The grounds were emaculate and it was much like strolling through a garden. They even had a small zoo in the back with peacocks and deer! We both found the whole place to be quite wonderful.
We decided to go ahead and explore the countryside since we had paid for the gas. It was lovely. A couple highlights: We had to pull over a couple times to allow farmers to move their Brahman herds through the streets. Also at some point we saw a Thai couple on a scooter pulled over to the side of the road. Instead of the standard and universal courtesy nod that says "I see that you are on a scooter, and I am also on a scooter", the driver held out his meat on a stick and waved it in the air, smiling as if to say, "Look what I have! It's meat on a stick! We pulled over to have a snack! I love life, don't you?!" And we did. It was a much-needed shift from the tourist-polluted beaches in the south and the general chaos of travel.
We returned the scooter and availed ourselves to a gem in town called Tofu Bar where we gleefully feasted on tofu, pumpkin and a miracle food called fuk (pronunciation unclear) until we were stuffed. A light rain fell as we strolled through the main drag of the tourist section of town and waxed poetic of our love for it. Maybe it was the Chang talking, or the fuk...or maybe it was real.
Feeling open for anything we stopped into a fish massage establishment. We had seen them down south and figureed, why not. They way it works is you sit with your feet in a large aquarium full of Gara Ruffa fish. Then they eat you. And people just love it. Supposedly they rid you of dead skin, provide a massage, circulation, detox, etc etc. It was horrifying at first. Fish obsessively eating the dead flesh from your feet feels exactly as you'd imagine. Sick.
(Compounding the discomfort was the fact that I [Lisa] was using this opportunity as an exercise in recovering from childhood trauma, involving carp and resulting in an irrational fish fear that I've carried into adulthood. Now you know.)
So after a few initial moments of both of us freaking out, the fish biting massage was actually okay and even sort of fascinating. Meta did point out that this tank was one thing, but in nature the fish biting the feet would not be okay. I agreed.
After the whole fish thing we figured it was time for our first Thai massage. Thai massage, it turns out, is kind of intense. Kind of a massage-chiropractic-yoga hybrid. These women will contort your body in ways you never thought possible. A balance of pain and relaxation.
Also in Kanchanaburi we had the great honor of meeting the famed Captain Jack Sparrow impersonator. We had read about this guy in the local rag in bangkok. He dresses up in full Jack Sparrow regalia and lets tourists take pictures of him and sells them bookmarks or something. He really does bear a striking resemblance, especially with the costume. So we were hanging out at the bar, having a Chang and taking a load off, when Mr. Sparrow himself approaches. He was in plainclothes, so we didn't recongnize him at first. He introduced himself as Jack, and it all came together when he motioned to a huge poster on the wall featuring the man himself in all of his Depp inspired glory. Amazing. Jack went on to give us a shot of his whiskey-herb concoction that he brews himself. He produced a jar of the stuff brewing and I was beginning to wonder what was his affiliation with this bar. He made a few dirty jokes with accompanying hand motions (apparently the herbs make one horny). Meta and I were able to overlook this offense because we were still so starstruck. THE Jack Sparrow impersonator!
The next morning we picked up a couple of bananas at the fruit stand. As our tour book promised, we met bananas that don't taste like chalk! We've been mercilessly joking about that ridiculous phrase ever since we read it about a month ago, but you guys, the bananas here are pretty amazing. Sweet and dense and rich. Delicious.
We rode the long rickety bus to the national park featuring a seven step waterfall and wild monkeys swinging from the trees, with signs warning visitors to beware the fierce monkeys. It's a beautiful hike, up the mountain for about an hour. There are seven stopping points featuring scenic waterfalls. It also appears to be a top site for local Thai retreat, as it was jam-packed with people. Once at the top, we stripped down to our bathing suits and splashed around in the gushing water and it was incredible. (It should be noted that our discarded pile of clothing was instantly surrounded by flies and other insects, via Pigpen. After a solid week of sweaty travel, baby wipe baths in public restrooms, and no laundry, we were veritably disgusting.) SO THEN we began our mountain descent. Level 2 had a great pool and a rocky cove behind the waterfall, so you could climb up on the rocks and sit behind the wall of water. The problem was the fish. You see, there's actually no need to spend any amount of baht on flesh eating fish to remove your dead skin cells because at the Erawan National Park, these guys will do it for free. And they're bigger. And uglier. And there are so many of them. Cue childhood trauma relapse, I could not get into that waterfall. I felt like a fool, surrounded by tiny children who were not the least bit fazed by the killing machines nibbling their toes. I found a comfortable and safe rock to sit on and volunteered to take pictures of Meta swimming the fish infested waters.
(*Meta's account: Lisa wasn't the only one put off by the fish. I was terrified. The ones at the fish spa were about an inch long. These wild suckers were topping out and a foot/ foot and a half. They were swarming the edges of the pool, but the middle was fish-free. So I stood on a rock flipping out as I worked myself up to taking a big breath and hurling my body forward as far as it would go to get to the middle quickly. Once there I was safe...until I attempted the waterfall climb on the other side. They got me again and there was nothing I could do about it. But it was worth it. Once I was back out of the water in a waterfall cave it was like something out of a movie. The inside was dripping moss and fern covered stalactites. I sat on a rock inside the cave and watched monkeys and hundreds of Thai people frolic in paradise.)
We returned to town (after a short setback when our bus broke down) with about an hour to eat before catching a bus to Bangkok where we would get on the night bus to Lampang. There was quite a bit of confusion at the Bangkok bus station when the bus we had bought tickets for was apparently cancelled. This was conveyed by a man (later discerned he was the bus driver) putting a pile of money in Meta's hand and taking our bus tickets out of mine. What followed was an attempt at information sharing through a serious language barrier. Lots of pointing, mostly. We needed a new ticket to Bangkok and we had to leave immediately to catch our connecting bus. We weren't sure which buses went to the correct station. In the midst of this confusion, a small boy (bus driver's son?) reassured us over and over "It's okay. Bangkok! It's okay" accompanied with the okay hand gesture. His confidence and soothing tone really got us through this rough patch. We boarded a minibus going to what was probably our terminal in Bangkok.
The Bangkok terminal was bustling with a night market. Nothing looked familiar and we weren't even sure we were at the right place. We navigated the maze of wares, exhausted and confused. Every three carts or so were selling the exact same merchandise, same neon watches and lit up cell phones, so you can never really tell where you are.
On the night bus to Lampang we each took two sleeping pills. This is the recommended dosage but so far we'd been using one. The difference is drastic. I was out cold in ten minutes. When we were awoken in the middle of the night for a meal (which wasn't free on this measly six hour trip), I was slumped over in my seat with my head hanging in the aisle, drooling on the bus floor. We debused for this fifteen minute break and bumbled around the rest stop in a groggy stupor, occasionally running into things. Bought socks (the bus is so cold) and oreos. We stood waiting to get back on the bus, unable to form words, holding our socks and silently passing the oreo package back and forth. Soon we would wake up in Lampang and take the short bus ride to Hang Chat and to Caroline, where we would nap off the remaining drug effects. But in the meantime, we ate cookies and waited.
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